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Wednesday, February 23, 2022

Shot in the heart. Volume 6. "The Book of Flame". Chapter 1

 

Prologue

 

Love - what is it? Does it exist on earth? Or is it just self-deception, the fruit of an inflamed mind, and the justification of one's desires?

And the soul? Where is it? Is this also the fruit of an inflamed imagination?.. Although no, it exists. After all, if it does not exist, then what hurts so much inside? Why is it so hard?

 

And what is all this?.. Everything that happens in his life .... Everything is so strange that it does not resemble reality ...

 

Toyami watched the lights of Tokyo at night from his hotel room. He knew that the plane with Kai was already in the sky and was taking a piece of himself to another world - to where war reigns.

 

Only now he was analyzing everything that had happened during those days. He tried to understand himself: in what was happening to him, in what he felt, in what he sensed ...

 

Quiet light sadness mixed up inside him with the pain of parting. Heaviness from the realization of one's own inability to protect and save from all this evil world the dearest to him creation. How hard it is to understand that you are not able to influence anything ...

The only thing he can do is stand like this and look at the city of their love from a bird's eye view and feel how his heart shrinks from the feeling of emptiness ...

 

"Kai, I love you. And you never said those words, you never answered me, you never revealed your feelings. You just accepted my love and favorably allowed me to be with you. But this is a lot, too much to suffocate now with happiness and awareness of what happened between us. You finally recognized my love, did not drive me away, did not push me away. Not! You let me love you. And even if it is only such a small thing, but I knew that the path to you would not be easy. I consciously followed this path, drawing strength from the flames that I see. I go to this flame, it beckons me, and I am ready to burn in it, giving you all of myself.

My love, I will always be with you."

 

Toyami walked away from the window, exhaustedly sank into a chair, looking with unseeing eyes in front of him. He had never wanted to go back there to the war as much as now. He was pushed by the realization that the one he loves was there, and that he should be next to him. Let them be separated by kilometers, but he must be with him on that earth, in that hell, and protect the most valuable of all that he has found in this world - his love.

 

 

Chapter 1

 

I hide my love for you at the bottom of my soul,

But still, I can't hide it

It seeps through everything

And people notice

And they even ask: "What are you sad about?"

 

Saigyō Hōshi

 

  

***

 

Spring on this earth passed unnoticed. Here there is no rapid flowering of gardens, fresh greenery, and the first shoots of young foliage. There are only stones, dust, and the scorching sun. That is why no one noticed the transition of spring into summer, just as Kai did not notice it, having plunged into military life, which did not give him time for abstract thoughts and unnecessary memories.

Although sometimes memories overtook him, and then he became thoughtful and detached. Everyone noticed this strange change in him when he returned to the garrison.

His friends knew exactly the essence of this phenomenon. They caught him talking on the phone in French several times, and this once again confirmed their guesses. The name "Beatrice" they heard now too often in his speech. Sebastian was sincerely happy for his friend and when Kai said that he was going to Kamrat for three days of leave, Sebastian and everyone immediately bombarded him with questions about her. Therefore, Kai told them that Beatrice got married, but they continued to meet.

 

Sebastian took Kai by the elbow and led him out into the yard, away from prying ears.

 

"Why?" he looked into Kai's eyes.

 

"What "Why"?"

 

"Don't tell me she has chosen you over another."

 

"You're talking about this..." Kai looked aloof into the distance. "What can I offer her? Is this the life?" he glanced around at his surroundings.

 

Sebastian understood this too. He turned Kai back to him.

 

"Are you very worried about this, because she has married someone else?"

 

"I knew this and did nothing to prevent it," Kai turned away from Sebastian again. "I’m happy for her."

 

"You know, it’s not bad if you just have a relationship."

 

"Yes, I think so too."

 

"But you look so strange all this time," Sebastian again tried to look into Kai’s eyes. "I understand that it was hard for you to find out about this. Do you love her?"

 

"Sebastian, please… can we stop talking about this?" Kai hid his eyes and felt that he could no longer endure his friend's sincere concern and deceive him about what was really happening to him.

 

"Sorry, I thought it would be easier for you if you talked to someone about this. You carry everything within you. I can see how hard it is for you ... well, I won't talk about it anymore," Sebastian showed his hand towards the entrance to the room. "Let's go."

 

***

 

The next day, Kai was supposed to go to Beatrice. Her husband had come to Kamrat with her on business, and she would be on her own these days, as Mr. Winfrey was leaving Kamrat to look at the plant site. All this Beatrice happily told Kai, and Kai honestly told his friends about it. They were happy, genuinely happy for him. He saw this, and from this, he became even more disgusted and vile in his soul. Now he was deceiving not only himself, but he was also deceiving everyone! And he deceived Beatrice, and even if their relationship did not have a future, he still felt vile and low towards her. She was not in his soul, no matter how hard he tried to find her there. But the vilest thing was that he deceived his friends - seeing their sincere joy, he hid his eyes and tried to turn the conversation to other topics. Sebastian chalked it up to his shyness, but it wasn't like that at all. Kai felt like a traitor to them. After all, he allowed in himself a feeling that contradicts all their laws and concepts, all the principles of their life. In his soul, there was only Toyami, only he and no one else. He thought about him, remembered everything that was then between them and what was not. He lived with these memories, this fairy tale, this quiet, bright joy of finding the one who filled his life and warmed his lonely heart in his arms.

These hugs - he even now felt their warmth and how good and calm he felt in them, how could Toyami, hugging him, fence him off from this whole cruel world, with which he had been alone all this time. Kai found with him what he had been looking for for so long, he found what filled him, filled the void. He found his second self. He found himself. And it didn’t matter that now they were not together, it seemed to him that he was near, that the man's hands were on his shoulders, and this made him feel so good that he felt fear from the happiness that overwhelmed him. After all, this could not be...

And then came the cruel reality - it's wrong! He cannot fall in love with a man... Then Kai fell out of a state of light euphoria and fell into a severe depression

 

It's good that in his life there was no time to sit and be depressed.

Throughout the spring, preparations were underway for a large-scale summer campaign to clear the Zandar Valley of militants and eliminate Mahmud's gang. Therefore, he regularly went on trips in a team with Bartholomew and his guys, where they sat in ambush for several days, climbed the mountains, looking out for the enemy’s location, and collected as much information as possible to plan the summer operation, which was assigned to Kai from the center as the main specialist in this issue. Kai understood the responsibility entrusted to him. He knew that the lives of the people who would participate in it would depend on the elaboration of all the details. And this understanding did not allow him to withdraw into himself for a long time.

 

All this time he regularly called Toyami, but it was rarely possible to chat with him, since Kai spent most of his time on the road, and he did not take the phone there. But when Toyami managed to catch him in the garrison, they talked for a long time about everything and nothing. After such conversations, Kai seemed to grow wings, he came to life and flew above the ground, and then... fell into depression again.

 

All the guys treated him with understanding and sympathized with his mental suffering for Beatrice. And they were just happy that, finally, Beatrice flew to Kamrat and they would meet.

Having received a lot of friendly-vulgar instructions from all the bros, Kai went to the city to meet her.

 

He drove, trying not to think about who he was after all this. And even half the way to the city he succeeded, but then the thought of Prokhor accidentally arose ...

Kai slammed on the brakes and pulled to the side of the road. He buries his face into the steering wheel. He had never felt so bad before.

 

"Prokhor, my friend. I can't lose you! For me, you are the only person on earth who has always been with me, you have replaced my family. But if you find out about me…"

 

Kai clutched the steering wheel with his fingers, trying to switch the mental pain to physical pain.

Of course, Prokhor said that he would accept anyone, but he was talking about rape ... and now something completely different is happening.

 

He imagined Prokhor's face and how he turned away from him in disgust, and all his boys throw terrible words in his face about who he was now ...

 

Kai grabbed the steering wheel again. So he sat for a very long time until it began to get dark. Then he found a water bottle under the car seat. After drinking water, the guy felt relieved. He never came up with anything concrete in his thoughts. All this only led to more confusion and chaos in his head.

He pulled himself together and drove to the hotel to pick up Beatrice. Deciding that ... And again he realized that he had not decided anything. He just went to her, knowing that she was waiting for him.

 

***

 

The company of Beatrice had a beneficial effect on him. With her, he forgot everything. After picking her up from the hotel, they went to his apartment in Kamrat. A long time ago, he decided to rent a house here, as he came to the city quite often and did not want to deny himself a comfortable stay. Especially since the money allowed it. Therefore, he rented a very expensive apartment in a modern building in a fashionable part of the city. The apartment was huge - with several bedrooms, bathrooms, a large guest room, and a huge kitchen. Its condition was looked after by the butler hired by him, who, accordingly, was engaged in the control of cleaning, filling the refrigerator and bar, and everything else about the house. Kai did not delve into this, he simply expressed his wishes and paid for their fulfillment.

 

He warned the butler about his arrival in advance, so when they entered the apartment, they saw in the living room a set table for dinner, flowers, and lighted candles.

 

But they started dinner later, at first they didn’t have time to eat. They couldn't even make it to the bedroom. Spreading the clothes torn from each other on the way to her, they fell on the sofa and there enjoyed each other. Only after satisfying their first hunger and taking a bath together, which was as huge and luxurious as the whole apartment, did they go to the supper table that was waiting for them.

 

For three days they did not leave this apartment. It was crazy when time merged into one stream of passion. Although no, during this time they not only tried all kinds of ways to satisfy their desires, they also talked a lot, watched TV, just lay in bed in each other's company.

The butler regularly took care of their food, while doing it very correctly, so that they did not even run into the servants who cleaned the food and re-set the table.

Kai and Beatrice forgot about everything. She filled his thoughts with herself, erasing all sorrows and doubts from his memory.

 

***

 

They lay on the bed, resting after another passionate torture. Beatrice sat up, looking at him.

 

"We didn't talk about it..."

 

"About what?" Kai knew what she wanted to say.

 

"That I've married Winfrey."

 

"I read about it in the press."

 

Beatrice was silent, and so was Kai. He had nothing to say to her. She broke down first.

 

"You know, if you wanted to ... said then ... we could ... I wanted ... I love you."

 

"You don't have to say that."

 

"But why?"

 

"I can't give you what he gives you. My life does not belong to me. I serve and follow orders. I will be in this war for as long as those, for whom I work, consider it to be necessary," Kai looked into her eyes. "How can I offer you anything? To give you this kind of life..."

 

Kai got up from the bed, wrapped the towel around his hips, went to the window, and lit a cigarette.

 

"I'm glad you found someone who lets you live the life you want."

 

"But I don't love him! I love you…"

 

Kai turned to the window.

 

"Sorry… I can’t reciprocate…"

 

Beatrice, too, was silent for a long time, then, getting up from the bed, naked approached him and hugged him from behind with her graceful arms.

 

"Thanks for being honest with me. I'm a grown girl and I'll get through this. I am glad that we talked about it and now there are no omissions between us. Let's just leave it as it is, shall we? I don't want to lose you... will you be with me?"

 

"Yes," Kai turned around and met her eyes.

 

"I will come here when I can, and we will meet."

 

"I'll wait for you."

 

Beatrice smiled, knowing that he did not love her, but she was too good with him. He was her outlet in the world of the ideal life that Winfrey offered her. But in that tasteless life, there were no feelings, passions, madness.

All this was given to her by this young man with emerald eyes. She accepted her fate and rejoiced in everything that she gave her. So now, with all her passion, she clung to his scarlet lips, swollen from her kisses, and threw off the towel from his hips.

 

Her kisses were passionate and hot, she enjoyed every moment of touching him. Slightly moving away from his lips, she, continuing to look into the green of his eyes, began to slowly kneel in front of him, continuing to caress his body with her hands. Then she absorbed his flesh.

Kai groaned and leaned his buttocks on the windowsill. He enjoyed her passionate impulse and what she gave him.

 

***

 

Saying goodbye to Beatrice and putting her in a taxi, Kai drove towards the garrison. He had to drive through the whole city to get on the road he needed.

 

It was the middle of the day. The sun heated the asphalt and mercilessly burned all living things. But the people who inhabited this city got used to its hot rays. Therefore, despite the sun, the traffic on the streets did not decrease, but, on the contrary, revived. In a huge traffic flow, one could see any make and model of cars - from the most modern and expensive models to such wrecked ones that it seemed that they crumbled right on the go. But the exotic traffic flow was not limited to this. Here you could also see ordinary wagons pulled by donkeys or unfortunate old nags, which, like many centuries ago, were carrying some kind of junk, it is not clear where and why. In this single living river flowing down the street, the past flowed into the present, and then just as imperceptibly disappeared.

 

And now, standing in a traffic jam, which was barely advancing, to the right of Kai, such a cart with greenery, harnessed by an imperturbable donkey, was also moving slowly. The calmness of the donkey could be envied. After all, traffic lights practically did not work in this city, the traffic here was regulated by its participants themselves, resorting to gestures, signs, continuous shouts, and constant horn signals. The noise was unimaginable. In such traffic without rules, usually, foreigners could not ride. Only those who had lived here for a long time drove cars themselves, while the rest preferred to take local drivers. Kai, on the other hand, liked it. He, despite the density of the flow, managed to drive here quite quickly, which surprised even local professional drivers. But now something happened ahead, because of this, a rather impressive traffic jam of cars and carts formed.

 

Kai closed the window and turned on the air conditioner. The only thing left for him is to admire the surrounding landscape.

The houses on both sides of the street were low, mostly five-story buildings. It was a poor quarter, people of average income lived here. The houses were of unpainted gray brick, soaked in the same gray layer of dust. Clothes were drying on the balconies. Those who did not have a balcony stretched ropes from window to window and hung on them some rags of unimaginable color and incomprehensible meaning. In stark contrast to all this, there were satellite television dishes mounted on rooftops or attached to the wall.

This city was full of contrasts. Only here one could see both poverty and luxury literally nearby, war and peaceful life... The city was huge and ancient, like the world.

 

Kai finally managed to get past the traffic jam, and now, driving and listening to music, he admired the grandeur of the city. There were different areas. Some slums were located on the outskirts of the old city. There, people lived in dilapidated buildings of unknown age or simply in tombs - burrows that remained from the old burial chambers. It was a scary part of the city. Only those who lived there went there, others bypassed the area as far as possible.

The old city was located in the eastern part. It was the most exotic place. The center of the city was occupied by the old bazaar - a real oriental bazaar, huge, noisy, and full of bright fabrics and exotic attire of the merchants themselves. Its dimensions were huge, it seemed to him there was no end and edge. There you could wander for a very long time, looking for a way out.

There were also areas in this city where very rich citizens lived. In such areas, one could see the interweaving of oriental luxury with the achievements of modern progress.

 

Kai liked to just watch the life of the city from the car window. He enjoyed contemplating the world around him, and whether it was modern buildings or the shacks of the poor, everything was beautiful for him, everything had its beauty and perfection.

 

He was brought out of this state of contemplation by a phone call. They called from the center. He had to cross paths with their man for an urgent assignment.

 

He had to drag himself again through the entire city center with its traffic jams and midday heat to meet the agent at the agreed place.

 

The meeting was arranged in one of the small restaurants in a busy part of the city. Kai was sitting at the table and slowly sipping mineral water. The agent was late, but when he finally arrived, he sat down at the table and immediately moved on to the essence of the work.

As it turned out, a sniper named Mustafa had appeared in the Al-Zaqawi group operating in the area. Most likely, this sniper was trained in a good foreign school and transferred here to work. Several influential politicians and a couple of allied army generals had already been killed with his rifle. Kai had orders to remove the sniper. In this regard, his return to the garrison was delayed while he remained in the city. Three people were given to help him, who were supposed to provide him with work and cover.

Having said all this, the agent left, Kai finished his mineral water and went to the indicated address to meet with the people who were supposed to work with him.

 

Before meeting with his three partners, Kai stopped by to change into camouflage at his apartment and took his sniper rifle. Now he was ready to work, realizing that it could drag on for several days, and maybe more. Kai did not even doubt that such a sniper was carefully guarded, and it would certainly be quite difficult to approach him within a shot distance.

 

The people who were supposed to work with him were waiting in the barracks at the headquarters, located in the western part of the city.

He passed through the checkpoint into the protected area and was escorted to the barracks where he was expected.

 

The first person he saw was Methodius - the same guy from the "old-timers" from the base of the airfield.

 

"Look, who's here!" he gritted through his teeth, "What wind brought you here?"

 

"Lot of wind up here," Kai was not happy with this meeting. It was now clearly redundant.

 

"We've also been brought here," Mifodiy looked at him appraisingly. "We are waiting for one asshole here to cover his ass while he is working."

 

"Are you a sniper cover?" Kai already understood who he would have to work with.

 

"Well, we ... Are you a sniper?" Ivan got up from the bed and walked over to them.

 

"Yes, I am a sniper. What information do you have about the object?"

 

"Didn’t they teach you how to say hello?" Methodius continued to examine Kai.

 

"Maybe we can get to work?" Kai had already resigned himself to the unhappy thought that he would have to work with these and wanted to start as soon as possible in order to finish as soon as possible.

 

"So, they didn’t teach ... sit down, now we’ll tell you what we have."

 

Mifodiy pointed to the bed and, seeing that Kai sat down on it, took out a map of the city.

Then they told Kai about the information received during these days about the movement of the sniper and their assumption that tonight he would be near one of the famous restaurants since significant people from the political elite of the country should be walking there.

Despite the bad reviews about him and their recent behavior, Kai appreciated that the guys had worked professionally and had now developed a plan for a night raid in a very reasonable and detailed way.

 

Kai decided to trust them. They discussed the places of each on the plan of buildings and went to the exit.

 

They drove to the restaurant by Kai's car. Mifodiy sat down on the right in front, Ivan and Alexey - behind. All the way they admired his car and stuffed it with equipment in it, and Kai calmly answered their questions about all this.

The car was left two blocks before the object, then they acted according to plan.

 

At night they began to move along the dark streets, then moved to the roofs. The houses were so close that it was not difficult to jump from one to another.

 

Closer to the object, each went to his position. They identified for Kai the most advantageous one for a sniper, positioned themselves to see both him and the object, realizing that Mustafa would be covered by his guards, which they soon spotted.

It was good news - it means they were not mistaken: since there is a guard, Mustafa will be there too.

 

The sniper was waiting for a long time. The tension was unreal. Kai scanned every inch of rooftops and buildings through the peephole of his scope to pinpoint his hiding place.

 

The guests from the restaurant already began to leave, and Kai still had not found a sniper, however, like his guys, with whom he spoke on the radio.

 

At the moment the main guests left, Kai saw the reflection of optical sight. He aimed, but he also was spotted. They opened fire on him. The guys began to cover him, turning the fire on themselves. Since everyone fired from rifles with a silencer, the people leaving the restaurant did not notice anything unusual.

 

Kai switched hideouts since it had already been revealed and took aim. But Mustafa left.

The patrons of the restaurant calmly got into their armored vehicles and drove away. It became clear that Mustafa would no longer shoot today. Now it was necessary to understand: when?

 

To control the security of the general, presumably, whom Mustafa wanted to remove, Kai and the guys quickly packed up and returned to the car, drove to his house in another part of the city. They managed to arrive there in advance, before the arrival of the general. But Mustafa did not appear here.

 

So, after spending time before dawn on the roofs of one of the houses, they began to discuss the further alleged actions of the sniper.

 

Soon, Alexey, having traced the route of the general's movement and intercepted the negotiations of his guards, learned that the general would arrive at the embassy in the afternoon. Having quickly collected all the equipment and weapons, they returned to the car.

 

Having reached the place, the car was again left a quarter away, they reached the rooftops and the most convenient location in terms of visibility. They spent half a day on the roof, roasting under the scorching rays of the midday sun and languishing from the heat. But Mustafa was not there. This was reported by Alexey and Ivan, who were monitoring the situation. Mifodiy, on the other hand, made sure that another sniper did not get close to Kai, while Kai himself watched the embassy.

 

So they hunted for Mustafa for another three days, moving around the city. They slept in turn in the same place, in combat positions, replacing each other. They also ate there. Usually, Ivan ran to local shops for food, but with such heat during the day, he didn't feel like eating at all, only at night.

 

One night, after a quick snack, the guys went to their points. Kai began to look through the night vision binoculars of the roofs of houses. Mifodiy was sitting next to him, checking his machine gun.

 

"Do you want to smoke?" Mifodiy handed Kai cigarettes.

 

All this time they did not communicate, only briefly and to the point.

 

"Yes, very much."

 

Kai lowered himself behind the concrete railing and turned to face him. They rarely smoked now - they could detect smoke or a cigarette light. Mifodiy covered it so that this light could not be seen, and waved his hand, scattering the smoke.

 

After smoking, it became easier. Kai leaned back against the concrete railing wearily. All the jumping on the rooftops, the midday heat, and the sleepless nights were exhausting, as was, of course, the sheer stress of the task and the fact that they, too, might be hunted.

 

"Are you offended with us, or something, for that guy?" Kai guessed what Mifodiy was asking.

 

"Not. I have no time to be offended. But I do not like it when people assert themselves at the expense of the weak."

 

"You know, you're right ... But I've been here for more than a year and I've already understood: either you - them, or they - you. That is why I've united the guys around me. I'm tired to fight alone with such morons.

 

"And you became like that yourself."

 

Mifodiy was not offended by Kai's words, he simply looked at him studying him.

 

"Tell me, why don't they pity you?"  he turned the conversation to a question that was of concern to him. "You flew like a clockwork, now you have been roasting on the roofs with us for many days. Are you a contractor? Do you earn money?"

 

"Yes, I do. Go to your point, otherwise, we'll let Mustafa through," Kai, again leaning out a little from behind the concrete fence, began to look through binoculars.

 

Mifodiy realized that the conversation was over. That's just about working under a contract for money, for some reason he did not believe Kai.



Shot in the heart. Volume 6. "The Book of Flame". Chapter 1

  Prologue   Love - what is it? Does it exist on earth? Or is it just self-deception, the fruit of an inflamed mind, and the justifica...